It's hot and the sun is bright as I step onto the black oval of a local high school track. My friends and I meet every Monday to push ourselves with speed or tempo runs. Meeting earlier than I could make, they had already begun their workout. I step onto an outside lane and begin my easy paced warm up mile; alone. The quiet is what I need.
The last day of school is normally a day of celebration in our household, yet today I found myself deep in melancholy. Selfishly I could not wait for this day - no more packing lunches, no more homework, no more grade checks. I was done with conversations centered around school work. The day was finally here. YES!
What I was not ready for was the feeling of sadness at the bus stop earlier that morning. My youngest hops on the bus to embark on his last day of elementary school; after today he would be walking the halls of middle school. The bus driver, Mary Anne, shuts the door and turns to wave at me ~ just as she has done every day for the past 11 years once each of my boys had boarded the bus. As she pulls away and I start my car to leave for work, it dawns on me : this is my last day of elementary school. My days at the bus stop are over.
I wasn't ready to close that chapter.
My feet are carrying me around the track and helping me let go of the emotions of the day. To hold tight to those feelings would not change the reality of that part of my life being over; no, this was a chance to embrace something new, something scary and I will be just fine. But it doesn't mean I'm not staring this opportunity in the face without sadness in this mama's heart.
My friends, Kathy and Karen, are on a cool down lap and turn around to meet me as I finish my warm up. The next couple mile repeats we run together. Kathy just watched her youngest son graduate from high school two days previous and understands every single emotion. The three of us talk and more importantly, we laugh.
As they started before me, I am off to run the final mile repeat on my own. The sun is hot. The black track reflecting the heat suddenly gives me incredible amounts of empathy for how bacon feels in a frying pan. Despite it all, I nail the pace of my final mile. I feel good. I feel better than I had all day.
The workout is over and we head back to our cars. We gather in the parking lot and the conversation gets long. There is no homework to go home to, there is no rushing home to pack lunches, there is only me with my running friends talking about whatever it is we want to talk about.
And I am enjoying every single minute of it.
