Despite the euphoria from running my trail race the week before, my motivation to get out and run was non-existent. I drove to town, parked the car and began running the streets of my hometown.
The miles took me past my old high school. A Saturday morning and the parking lot was filled with cars. The familiar sound of a football whistle filled the air and tumbled me back into old memories. Suddenly my boys were in 4th, 5th, and 6th grades and I was the cheering mom running up and down the sidelines with each play.
The days of fundraisers, practices and football board meetings were no longer a whisper of yester-years but as real as the moment I was in. I remember the parents I still call friends and the football coaches who taught our boys how to push harder. I witnessed grown men pour love into all those boys and I watched those very boys grow stronger. I remember chain gangs, bear crawls and constant encouragement from the parents and the coaches.
I don't remember the last whistle.
I walked off the sideline and didn't know football was finished in our home. My boys didn't want to play anymore, and we supported them.
It is by God's grace sometimes that we don't know the lasts. With my youngest becoming a senior this year, I've pondered "the lasts" a lot these last few days.
By God's grace I didn't know the last time I would pick up my boys into my arms.
By God's grace I didn't know the last time I would tuck them into bed for the night.
By God's grace I didn't know the last time I would read them a nighttime story.
By God's grace I didn't always know the lasts.
And I am so thankful for that.
Looking square in the eyes a year full of lasts, I find myself often these days with a tear or two rolling down my cheek. Although a parents job is never finished, it sure feels like a big door is closing and sealing itself shut.
Don't get me wrong, I look forward to the day my summer doesn't end with a school bell ringing or having my vacations dictated by a school calendar. I look forward to the great big world that awaits my boys and the adventures they choose. I look forward to the new chapters that await all of us.
But for right now, this mama is thinking about tiny bodies crawling into my lap, kissing the boo-boos away...and football whistles.
