A Much Needed Answer

To say I've been struggling with my running over the last year is to understate my battle.  Although I've tried to keep my struggle private, it often flowed out into my words as I told of my races; most notably the Wintrhop, Bellingham Bay and the California International marathons.

Any runner can attest to having a bad run or a bad race day; I was experiencing a bad race year.  The head games birthed from so many consistent bad races left me feeling more than overwhelmed.  I spent many quiet moments debating on giving up racing, especially marathons.  My friends are the ones who would push me when I couldn't.

About 6 weeks ago a group of us met for an easy 8 mile run; it was 8 miles on a simple route at a conversational pace.  I couldn't keep up.  I was walking at mile 6.  Mile 6.  I felt as if I had no skeleton and was running on empty despite a solid week's sleep and eating right.  Once I got home the only thing I wanted to do was sleep.  For 3 days. 

This is when I knew something was wrong.

Not one to run to the doctor for a sniffle or an ache or a pain, my doctor knew something was amiss simply because I was sitting in her office.  She asked a multitude of questions, poked and proded.  We sent my blood sample away to the lab and awaited results.

The answer didn't take long to receive.  I am anemic.  Never have I been happier to hear there is something wrong with me.  This diagnosis validated my struggle.  It wasn't that my mind wasn't tough enough, or I wasn't determined enough, or I wasn't good enough.   My body could not physically do what I was asking it to do.  Iron deficiency stole my ability. 

I stand now in the middle of hope and promise.  There are millions of people who live with this every day and I know I am not alone.  But right now it has given me an answer, a much needed answer, to questions I faced for too long. 

A new marathon season lies ahead and now, finally, I am excited to see what it holds.